By Silvana Smith
It’s day two of your period. You’re cramping, bloated, and full of metaphysical angst. Not to mention the fact that you’re BLEEDING. And in the time of corona? How rude. No worries, as you wait out the days until all the period pain has left your body, here is a playlist designed to capture all the catharsis needed for your time of the month. This playlist goes beyond clever word play (although I’m pretty proud of the amount of puns I was able to fit in), and soundtracks the existential angst that every period-having-human possesses inside them.
I love you more than I hate my period // say anything
“He's the singer of my favorite band.
If I cornered him and locked him in a closet,
He would understand.
Take me away from my boring life,
To his promised land.”
If you’re not familiar with the lyricism of Say Anything, these lyrics might throw you off you for a sec, but Max Bemis is known for writing songs in character. The story told in this particular song is about a teen a little too obsessed with their favorite band’s lead singer. Although more than a few of us can relate to crushing on a celeb and maybe liking a few too many photos of them on our Insta explore page, it becomes clear their obsession has taken a bit of a murderous turn. Fandom love can be one of the strongest feelings in a young heart (stronger than how much I hate my period for sure), but has this fan gone too far…? Yes. Please don’t stalk and murder your favs. Murder is bad and is not an effective tactic for seducing your crush.
blood under my belt // the drums
With a cheeky little reference to the biblical origin of a period (or a twilight reference depending on your subculture preferences), “women’s curse” for Eve’s original sin, this song isn’t so much about menstruation but about asking for forgiveness. The singer knows he’s caused pain, that he’s got blood under his belt, but he’s willing to work it out. I, for one, have experienced a lot of both pain and blood under my belt. However, I’m not really ready to forgive my uterus.
bloodline // ariana grande
“They can’t find something to satisfy me”
A song that celebrates not getting pregnant from the person you’re hooking up with is the perfect motivational anthem to get you through this time. Let’s face it; however bad your cramps may be, labor hurts worse. You shouldn’t have to face a lifetime of consequences for just trying to find some satisfaction in this world, no strings attached (tampon pun).
if I ever feel better // phoenix
“I'd better learn to accept that
There are things in my life that I can't control”
Until that aspirin hits your bloodstream, cramp pain can seem inescapable and never ending; the ultimate betrayal from your own body. Nevertheless, it helps to remember that eventually yes, you will feel better.
cutie pie, I'm bloated // indoor pets
“You've got pipes, I've got organs
Please be cold, I need my brain frozen
Decapitate and keep me in your backpack
I'll be the company for your mother's Prozac”
We’ve sure got organs and they sure are making us bloated. Not cool, guys. Anyways make sure you all stay hydrated to prevent bloating and other symptoms caused by lowered progesterone levels.
painkiller // beach bunny
“Fill me up with Tylenol
Tramadol, Ketamine
I just need some pain relief”
Along with an onslaught of physical symptoms, periods can bring both physical and emotional pain. Whichever case, instead of overanalyzing why the hormones are making us cry over this random holiday commercial, can we just have some tylenol please?
cramp, push, and take it easy // stuck in the sound
If you’ve got some angst you need to let out, need some heavy riffs to rage to, this song is for you. With a mix of hooky melodies and loud repetitive screaming, this dynamic song really expresses the mood swings some may suffer from during this time. You’re bleeding; you deserve to let it out and take it easy.
constant headache // joyce manor
As someone who is no stranger to the occasional migraine, it can be incredibly demoralizing to be expected to function normally while under such pain, just because it’s not visible pain. I might be smiling during my zoom call, but on the other side of the screen I’m googling how to tell if you’re having an aneurysm. With a killer guitar solo and catchy chorus from Joyce Manor (a band that grew to prominence during the emo renaissance of 2015 that revived the genre by going back to its diy roots), this 2011 song is still one of the band’s biggest anthems. Headbanging to this song alone in your room may not help your headache, but it may be just what the doctor ordered to soothe your pain*.
I love you period // dan baird and homemade sin
‘I Love You Period’ is a cute little song about a teacher correcting the punctuation of a love letter she received from a student (lol what a burn). From this, the singer learns that the way to any girl’s heart is good grammar. Whether that’s true or not, I thought this was a cute way to end our list with a pun but also a way for this song to act as the proverbial period of this playlist.
Feel free to check out the full playlist on Spotify for more angsty music picks.
*Prolonged headbanging has been known to cause neck damage. Please headbang responsibly.
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