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Marriya Schwarz
May 31, 20216 min read
Scooby-Doo: What Are You? and an Ode to Daphne Blake
One of the biggest plot twists would be if Scooby was a man in a mask the entire time who wanted free rent and Scooby snacks.
111 views0 comments
Marriya Schwarz
May 31, 20215 min read
Adult Lullabies for Insomniacs
These tunes can get you through those bad insomnia days—or at least through those loud cicada mating calls.
28 views0 comments
Marriya Schwarz
Mar 29, 20217 min read
P.S. I Miss You and Other Things
It’s hard to believe that a little over a year ago, I was walking around grocery stores maskless, hugging friends, and Frenching strangers.
63 views0 comments
Marriya Schwarz
Feb 26, 20215 min read
Did The World Need 'The Kissing Booth'?
Elle has only two personality traits and the first of these is wanting to date Noah Flynn, even though it’ll ruin her friendship with Lee.
30 views0 comments
Marriya Schwarz
Feb 26, 202112 min read
Reviewing the Nintendo Everyone's Talking About
I’m finally getting around to reviewing the 2006 Nintendo DS Lite.
22 views0 comments
Marriya Schwarz
Jan 21, 20214 min read
"It's Your Favorite Characters As You Know Them But This Time They Can Sing"
TV actors aren’t all singers, but that’s not going to stop them from belting out those untrained pipes.
16 views0 comments
Marriya Schwarz
Jan 21, 20214 min read
[EXCLUSIVE]: Senator Ted Cruz’s Remarks on the Tooth Fairy
It is the responsibility of this office to acknowledge that if that many people believe in this sprite that steals teeth, it must be true.
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Marriya Schwarz
Dec 19, 20205 min read
The Assassination of Santa Claus: International Crime Story
Scott Calvin becoming Santa is no accident. No, no, no—this guy was vetted.
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Marriya Schwarz
Dec 18, 20203 min read
It's 2020. Can We Stop Ripping Necklaces Off of People in Media?
You know what a necklace is without a chain? Freaking useless.
30 views0 comments
Marriya Schwarz
Dec 17, 20203 min read
Please Stop Fucking During a Pandemic: A Note from the College Board
We’ve arrived at the decision that schools can’t admit students solely based on their crew involvement and their famous Full House parent.
11 views0 comments
Marriya Schwarz
Oct 27, 20203 min read
The Complexities of the "Monster Mash"
How did this craze catch on in a flash if everyone has to first schedule a doctor’s visit before they can do the dance?
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Marriya Schwarz
Oct 27, 20204 min read
A Tornado Tore Up My Dreams
Hannah was going with store-bought this year, and Reader, this was my year.
10 views0 comments
Marriya Schwarz
Oct 27, 20203 min read
Who’s Haunting Who? A Note from the Ghost in Your House During COVID-19
Hey, Craig! Quick question: Do you remember the office? You know, that place you used to go for 8 hours a day?
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