When I first saw The Kissing Booth, I felt so bad for this new generation who were actually fed this crap—which means something coming from me, because we had the Star Wars prequels.
The whole movie centers around Elle Evans, your average annoying American teenager who was born at the same exact time as her best friend, Lee Flynn, another average American teenager who lives in a gigantic mansion and drives a fancy sports car to their private school—and though Lee is super rich, between the two of them, they can’t seem to afford two sandwiches and must share all of their meals. You know… best friend things? They also have a weird friendship in which their lives are dominated by an unclear amount of rules they made when they were six. You know… best friend things? To add more drama, Lee has an older brother, Noah, whose only likes seem to be getting into fights, chewing on toothpicks, and smiling out of one side of his face.
Since researching the movie, there are two key details I wish I knew when I first watched the Netflix Original: First, the film is based on a Wattpad story Beth Reekles wrote when she was 15. In hindsight, I should have expected this, seeing as Elle has only two personality traits and the first of these is wanting to date Noah Flynn, even though it’ll ruin her friendship with Lee. We learn that the first Christmas she remembers was when she was six, that she went as a cowboy for Halloween, and that she failed at Seven Minutes in Heaven, but we know nothing about her wants, desires, or anything.
The other thing I discovered is that the script was written by Vince Marcello, a man in his late 40s. In hindsight, I also should have expected this, seeing as Elle’s other personality trait is that she got boobs over the summer. And the fact that Elle is a virgin is grossly highlighted maybe 50 times throughout the movie. Now, as someone who didn’t go on a date until I was seventeen, I promise we don’t all just stay at home in a mindless daze as we wait for a gentleman caller to whisk us away and take us to the sock hop or cotillion. But Marcello wouldn’t know this, since he’s clearly never met a teenager. This is obvious in the fact that the following phrases are used: “lady bump,” “Are you Gucci?”, and “Don’t grind coochies.” There’s also only one BIPOC character in the whole movie, who is resigned to just say things like, “I love this hoe!”
The movie begins with another weird reminder that Elle has never had a ‘womanly form’ before. However, it also seems like Elle has never been a person before, since we see montages of her putting lipstick on her cheek, and she often tries to have conversations with people while they’re in the middle of making out with someone else. On the first day of school, Elle’s particular blunder is that she rips her pants and she’s forced to wear the only other school-issued bottom she has, which is a tiny mini skirt. To Vince Marcello’s credit, he also may never have been to a school before, much less a private school. But at my private school, the dress code included school-approved clothing and what length each item was. If my school pants ripped, I wouldn’t trade them for another dress code violating option; I would just wear jeans and take the L. But of course, like Elle’s boobs, she was also born just over the summer, so she wears a mini skirt that clearly shows her underwear. And in case you weren’t expecting it, a mindless jock quickly slaps her ass. Although this starts as an empowering moment where she states she wasn’t asking for sexual harassment, this all falls apart when she decides she wants to give him her number.
After Elle and Lee decide to put on a kissing booth to save the dance club at the fundraising carnival, Elle becomes the object of popularity once the ‘OMG Girls’ talk to her—we know they’re popular because they only eat one banana and drink water for lunch. And they encourage her to go to Noah’s party, where Elle, who’s more Sim than human, has, of course, never been drunk before and begins taking off all her clothes. Later, this is almost exactly repeated when Elle—sober this time—happens to wander into the boy’s locker room instead of the women’s restroom and starts stripping right at the sink. To Vince Marcello’s credit, this is how all women’s bathrooms work. Even if you’re just taking a shit, you must discard your shirt before going into the stall.
Finally, we get to the carnival where the dance club makes more money than all of the other clubs—probably because the entire student body just hangs out at the kissing booth to applaud when Elle and Noah kiss. Although she knows that this could ruin her friendship with Lee, Elle and Noah continue their makeout session in a gazebo, where it’s clear that this is probably the worst duo of actors Netflix could have hired. While Jacob Elordi is 6’5”, Joey King is only 5’3”, meaning that when having a conversation, these characters can never be in the same camera shot. Besides, the kiss just looks uncomfortable with the height difference. Imagine having to go to physical therapy and telling another patient who was in a car accident that you busted your neck by making out with your brother’s best friend.
And of course, Elle being Elle, she decides to solve this romantic debacle by making a pro and con list. The pros include that he’s hot, a good kisser, and smells yummy. (At some point, this is just offensive, Vince Marcello.) And the cons are that it’ll ruin her friendship, he rides a stupid motorcycle, her dad doesn’t approve, they constantly fight, he’s a player, and that he’s controlling. Which are pretty big cons, seeing as she didn’t include any facets of his character on the pro side. Nevertheless, she later gives him her virginity right in front of the Hollywood sign.
Ultimately, this relationship falls apart because—surprise, surprise—Lee finds out about the secret relationship and doesn’t take it well! But like all cheesy Netflix movies, it works out in the end, and Elle and Noah decide to pursue a long-distance relationship, even though she’s essentially dating his brother.
So yes, I would argue that this movie never needed to be made. Yes, it was just a bad movie. Elle Evans is one of the worst characters I’ve ever seen; she’s an attempt at being feminist while being entirely misogynistic. But just logically, the movie shouldn’t have been made just because there’s no way that these characters even made it to age seventeen. Twice, we see Lee jump off of a second floor balcony and into a pool, and later, Noah falls out of Elle’s second or third floor window and lands on a stone path totally fine.
In conclusion, my feelings can be best summarized by Elle’s final line of the movie, “And to think, all of this happened just because of a kissing booth.” Honestly, there was no point in the kissing booth, other than using it as a plot device to make Elle and Noah kiss. Although it’s supposed to raise money for dance club, we never see them participate in this club even once. (Although, they do play a dance game at an arcade, and I’m pretty sure that Elle and Lee are funneling school funds for this, and I think this should be a federal crime) But this didn’t stop Netflix from creating at least two more installments. Personally, I’m hoping someone shows up to the kissing booth with mono next time and takes them all down, but that’s just me.
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