Why Twitches is the Best Bad Movie to Watch this Halloween Season
By Brooke Rees
It’s that time of year again. The time when we choose a pumpkin that has offended us and consequently carve out its flesh. We don Superman t-shirts and Hogwarts robes (which I’m usually already wearing under my clothes anyways, just in case I do actually have superpowers or my letter from Dumbledore has finally arrived). In essence, the spectacle of Halloween is beautiful. It’s the one day of the year where it’s socially acceptable to give candy to children who you do not know. But Halloween, like most of 2020, looks a little different this year. Actually, let me clarify. It doesn’t look a *little* different, like when your rich great aunt shows up at the next family reunion with slightly higher cheekbones and slightly fewer facial expressions. It looks *a lot* different. Like Khloe Kardashian before FaceTune was invented! So instead of bewitching the town at all hours of the night, for Halloween this year, I’ve mostly been bewitching my couch and some popcorn. After watching a few scary movies, my Disney+ subscription was burning a hole in my dad’s wallet (thanks for forgetting you still subscribe to it, Dad!), and I suggested to my roommate that we watch a Disney Halloween movie. After scrolling for a while, I settled on Twitches, and *gasp* to my horror, my roommate had never seen this beloved classic. Here’s what happened:
Expectations: Like I mentioned, my roommate, Megan, had never seen this true cinematic masterpiece. Aside from the many other interesting and wonderful things about Megan, her go-to “tell us something interesting about yourself” is that she is a triplet. A triplet watches Twitches. Will she finally admit she also has shared womb magical powers? Will she like this movie without the childhood nostalgia acting as a crutch? Let’s find out!
First thing’s first: Based on the title alone, I wanted to see what Megan thought Twitches might be about. Her first guess? “Hmmm, Twitches. Well Twitches sounds like witches. So, what about witches who have Tourette’s? They try to do spells but it always goes poorly because they have a twitch right in the middle of it.” She was a little far off but honestly that idea has absolutely been pitched at the Hallmark Channel before. Next, I gave her a hint by telling her it was a DCOM (Disney Channel Original Movie). She had never heard of the phrase and thought it meant “decomposition.” She was in the right spooky mood by then, but at that point, I was mainly just worried about her childhood. After finally letting her in on the plot, the movie watching began. We soon settled on a few observations as to why Twitches is the absolute best worst movie to watch on Halloween. They are ranked as follows:
1. The Fashion!
The terrifying reality of early 2000s fashion can accurately be summarized by Megan’s exclamation of “Oh, I love tweed! Oh no. Not like that.” While rewatching Twitches, I was overcome by the image of my 9-year-old self rocking a pair of gauchos and a sequined half-cardigan. What I wouldn’t GIVE to have the sheer unearned confidence of a woman living and dressing in 2005. Fashion plays an important role not only in the visual aesthetics but also in Camyrn and Alex’s relationship. They wear matching ‘amulets’ (like that wasn’t setting yourself up to have magical powers. If you don’t call it a ‘necklace,’ you were just begging for some evil forces), and even meet in a high-end clothing store. Though Alex’s interaction with the store clerk gave me false expectations for my future job interviews, since she’s basically just persistent even though she doesn’t have any real qualifications, there’s no denying that the fashion is one of the main attractions of this movie.
2. The Plot Holes!
Some things only look good at a distance. Like my face. Or American democracy. Twitches, unfortunately is one of those things. If you possess literally *any* shred of critical thinking while watching this movie, the threads start to unravel. I believe, however, that this just makes it all the more enjoyable. It’s like a Choose Your Own Adventure novel where you get to fill in the many plot holes yourself! In that sense, Twitches forever lives on in my mind. In case you wondering, here are some of Twitches biggest mysteries, pointed out by Megan whose thoughts were not clouded by nostalgia: what exactly is Coventry? Did Miranda really have to stay and help rule? It seems like she spends most of her day roaming around a CGI castle. What exactly is the darkness (besides horrific CGI)? Does the darkness only kill houseplants? Is the darkness...me?
3. The CGI!
Perhaps the most enjoyable parts of this movie are the scenes at the Coventry castle. Every time a scene would appear, Megan would glance over at me, a small piece of her will to live (or at least sit through this movie) slipping away. While this made me laugh the hardest, the CGI castle is admittedly pathetic. It gives me hope that I, with mediocre art skills, could also make it big in Hollywood.
Final thoughts: All in all, Twitches deserves an Oscar. And at the very least, it deserves a third film.
Comments