By Setareh Sanaei
I am a sucker for a good will-they-won’t-they. And I mean a huge sucker—always have been, always will be. I can’t get enough of it, really. I get so worked up! But of course, there’s a right way to do it, and there’s a very, very wrong way. Without further ado, here are my ratings of some of television’s best and worst will-they-won’t-theys. *Spoilers Ahead*
Ross and Rachel (Friends)
Starting off, we’ve got one of TV’s most argued about couples. Now, of course I spent the whole show waiting for them to be together (especially when I was a kid), and of course I thought they were cute, and I cried when they kissed in the Central Perk doorway and cried again when they kissed after the prom video and cried again when she got off the plane.
HOWEVER, if you sit there and think about their relationship for more than two seconds, you realize how truly horrible it was. First of all, it’s widely agreed upon that Ross was the worst character on Friends, and that obviously extends to his relationships. He was possessive, jealous, judgemental (“Just a waitress??”), uncaring (Remember when he fell asleep reading her letter? Or when he lied about getting their marriage annulled? Need I go on?). Now, putting aside the fact that Ross was the worst, they were only ever actually together for about 10% of the show (Trust me, I did the math. And if I did it incorrectly, please don’t tell me). You’re telling me I spent 10 seasons obsessed with a couple whose relationship lasted like five total minutes? Finally, waiting till the last episode to write them back together and him making her choose him over the career opportunity of a lifetime was so lame. 4/10.
Nick and Jess (New Girl)
Call me basic, but Nick and Jess is my absolute favorite TV couple, and I will not apologize for it. First of all, the sexual tension they have is *chef’s kiss* (see “Quick Hardening Caulk”). Flutters. Second, their friendship is the reason they are such a good couple. The way they’re always there for each other even when they’re not dating shows how deeply they care for one another and sets a strong foundation for a relationship (see “Chicago”). I have never seen a couple like each other so much. Third, they probably had the best reason for breaking up out of any of these couples, and I respect it. Lastly, when Jess says “And before you say no, don’t say no” (“Elaine's Big Day”)—well, I cry every damn time, including right now when I looked it up to make sure I quoted it correctly. Okay, fine, I cry a lot so I guess it doesn’t mean much at this point, but still. 10/10.
Barney and Robin (How I Met Your Mother)
Okay, so imagine you create a show about a boring, annoying guy on the search for the love of his life, and in the pilot, he meets this girl, and you decide from the beginning that he will end up with this girl. Then, imagine being so out of touch that you write Robin and Barney to be the most perfect-for-each-other couple to ever exist, spend six seasons developing their characters and their love story, make the ENTIRE last season about their wedding, and then in the last TEN minutes of the show, have them break up and somehow put her with Ted. Like, I get that they decided they would end up together from the start, but why would you throw away seven seasons of plot, character, and relationship development when you could easily just have said, “I know, this was the plan, but the story took a different turn and so we should change the plan”? I will never not be mad about this one. -10/10.
Now for some rapid fire:
This show was one of the only times that a couple had a brief and exciting will-they-won’t-they run, but once they were together, they stayed together. And. It. Was. Refreshing. Really, we don’t always need to spend years and years pining for a couple to be together; we will still watch if they just have a good, happy relationship. 10/10.
Jackie and Hyde (That ‘70s Show)
Similar to How I Met Your Mother, the writers of this one really said “okay let’s make this amazing, cute, loving couple, give them the best character development on the entire show, and then have them break up for literally no good reason, and then have them both end up miserable.” 3/10.
George Michael and Maeby (Arrested Development)
I don’t mean this literally, because Arrested Development is my favorite show of all time and this whole situation was hilarious, but this “will-they-won’t-they” should never have happened. If you haven’t seen the show, they’re cousins, ‘nuff said. But just kidding: the George Michael-Maeby plotline was one of the funniest things to ever happen on TV. -5/10.
Midge and Lenny (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel)
I’m still waiting for this one to actually happen, but my god. The tension, the banter, the wit, the friendship. And of course, Season 3 Episode 5. 8/10.
Fleabag and the (hot) Priest (Fleabag)
Now, I don’t want it to seem like I just throw around my 10/10s, but when it’s deserved, it’s deserved. Again, the sexual tension, the banter, the deep conversations, the friendship, the way he’s the only one who can see her talk to us. Basically, the writing. This is probably the only time I wasn’t angry that a will-they-won’t-they didn’t end up together. All I have to say is thank you, Ms. Waller-Bridge. Truly phenomenal. 10/10.
Schmidt and Cece (New Girl)
This one is an 8/10 only because I can never fully get over Schmidt cheating, but the character development was there and I think by the end he did earn forgiveness and deserved her. Beautiful couple, amazing progression. Well done, New Girl, you made the list twice. Honestly, Winston and Aly were also a cute will-they-won’t-they. Three in one show, wow. 8/10.
Max and Kyle (Living Single)
I have never seen a character have less development than Maxine Shaw, Attorney at Law. Kyle deserved better (as did Terrence C. Carson, who was rudely fired from a show on which he was quite literally the best character). The series finale was a cop-out, and I am offended that they would treat their invested audience with such blatant disregard. 4/10.
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